Array Pummi! Today was indeed an embarrassing one.
I woke up ready to rock my new cropped pj style shit catcher/ mc hammer pants from H&M (ok maybe not the gold). I know they were in style last year, but I’m convinced they’re here to stay. For us moti’s who don’t wear jeans or pants without an elastic waist, these cropped catchers cover all the bases. I recently managed to find some in multiple colors with a tie at the waist. I threw one on today – a bright turquoise pair – matching them with a baggy knee length black tank. And damn I looked good on this hot summer day!
It was “chug a shit load” of water day, which meant it was also “pee a lot” day. Ariya and I went for lunch (salad …NOT!) at noon before we had to pick up little Maestro from class at 12:30. I quickly used the restroom before we left the restaurant.
We arrived at school and I walked into the classroom, hair all straight, shades on my head, kitted out in my bright blue and white locals flip flops that I found in Hawaii. Man was I hot! I picked up my little guy, said hello to all the skinny snooty moms, chatted with the teachers, and took a stroll around the classroom like I owned it. Then we decided to hit the supermarket on the way home. We walked in, I saw a mom I knew, said hello, then cruised around the store. We hit the fruit isle…and little Ariya said…”Mama what happened to your bum?” I ran my hands over my rear – holy shit! My fingers came in contact with toilet paper, LOTs of it. I had toilet paper stuck in my catchers, hanging off my tush like a donkey tail. And it wasn’t just a tiny square of toilet paper, it was more like 10. To top it off, the back side of my tank top was tightly tucked inside the catchers, forming a bit fat protruding bulge.
Pummi, tell me that has happened to you? AND why the F&%K didn’t anyone tell me? I thought they were staring because I looked extra hot today! Haters.